sissification of us...

My last post made me think of other things that were different than they are today. One thing we had were large and small chunks of broken asphalt in our playground from what apparently used to be a parking lot. We found that these worked nicely for hurling at each other when engrossed in a battle. We also had steel monkey bars, steel slides, wood and steel teeter-totters with real dirt underneath, and swings without seat belts. Of course, that was about all we had, but we didn't think it strange. I drove by the old schoolhouse recently and there is literally nothing there that was there a mere 2o+ years ago, and not because it wore out, I'm sure. I feel confident that the safety police decided that all the students' IQ would raise 40-50 points if they were sliding down brightly colored plastic slides very slowly, rather than galvanized steel slides very quickly.

The reason I mention these things is because I spent about 2 hours inside a local food-grade manufacturing plant the other day, doing a 15 minute repair. Well, I should say that I spent 15 minutes doing the repair, and the other 1 & 3/4 hours doing a safety course/orientation class so that I know the basics of how not to hurt myself. Included in these things were: (and remember: 15 minute repair, and never once going inside the building to do it!)

1. any electrical devise I plug in must be "locked, GFCI'ed, and tagged out" (whatever that means).

2. at all times, I need hard hat, safety glasses, and gloves. The orientator did actually specify that it was OK to remove gloves to go to restroom. No other safety equipment is to be removed during restroom exercises.

3. any work done more than 4' off the ground requires a safety harness.

4. here is the real kicker: the weapons policy. Of course we couldn't take guns in there, but NO KNIVES!!! Construction workers-no knives!!! No pocketknife, no utility knife, either! the only sharp object I was allowed to have was a backwards-loaded spring action utility knife that automatically retracts when you aren't holding the blade out. Then he urged us repetitively to "cut away from your body".

Now I am all in favor of not getting hurt, but I think it is a ridiculous notion to say that grown men, professionals in their trades are not responsible enough to handle pocket knives. As I thought of how these corporate safety monkeys thought up these rules for people who are trying to get things done, it occurred to me the expressions of shock that would have registered on their faces had they seen the recesses at A.G.S. Unharnessed and unsecured minors climbing a ladder to the top of a 12' slide, carelessly flinging aside the "3 points of contact to the ladder at all times rule". As they get to the top, they have no guard rail, then as the other children are carelessly stacked up on the ladder behind the first one, they recklessly take the plunge done the incredibly steep slide with out any more than a few inches of protective railing on either side, coming to a complete drop off of about 24" at the bottom. From there, they race to a veritable paradise of potential cranial concussions: the Jungle Gym or Monkey bars, a 10' tall, towering edifice to honor the god of dangerous living for little kids. And then the teeter-totter: how safety officers all over the world would shudder if they saw children disembark from the low side of the teeter-totter without making a request for a written permit from corporate, and without signing out? Not to mention, that all was often done with a knife in our pocket... just like I did that day. I just kept my mouth shut through orientation, though; there's a part of me that just enjoys a little rebellion. Anyway, it wasn't very sharp. I guess I get that rebellion from my late Uncle Sam that once proudly showed me how he got a nice sized pocket knife through airport security in a post 9/11 world. Shh...