my recipe for ham...

I had a successful attempt at cooking food today, and I want to share it with the world, and chronicle it for my own future use, as I am terrible at remembering stuff like this. The above ham was prepared by Yours Truly. Let me give a little rundown of some of the details:

1. stake out area not too close to house
2. buy 10 hog panels and 100 bond-beam concrete blocks
3. buy 2 piglets
4. feed and water piglets
5. repeat #4 every day for five-six months.
6. butcher big hogs
7. put room temperature ham in smoker around 7:00 am before church
8. provide enough smoke for about 3 to 4 hours
9. continue to cook at 225 degrees, but after 5 hours, cover with foil, *note: ham was at 140 degrees
10. continue to cook at 225 degrees for 3 more hours, *note: ham was at 160 degrees
11. continue to cook at 225 degrees for 1 more hour, * note: ham was at 170 degrees
12. feed to children in order to get this look here:

So, as you can see, with only 12 simple steps (and about 6 months), you too could have a delicious ham for supper! While there could be much debate wheather or not I cooked it too long, smoked it too much or not enough, the end result is that my family tore into it.

I'll be perfectly honest, part of the reason I'm writing this is to gloat a little about something that most people couldn't care less about: (so I'm hoping it won't come across as too offensive), the whole backyard to table food source thing, you know. Its just a lot of fun for me; I'm just sorry I'm off my feed enough to not want to eat much tonight. From what the kids and Wifey says, I think it was a success.

stout fella-ism

I once read a book called "Beau Geste" that is a young adult novel written about three brothers that join the Foreign Legion. It was a great story; full of adventure and suspense, and it was written in 1924, I think, so it is full of things that our society no longer emphasizes: namely, manly character traits like loyalty, fidelity, and in general "doing the honorable thing." In other words, things that Godly men should exhibit. I would say that it helped shape my childhood, but I was an adult, married with children by the first time I read it; my mother-in-law recommended it to me.
In this book, the youngest brother at an early age, exhibits one of these manly character traits that was thought to be beyond his age, and his brothers praise him for being a "Stout Fella." For some reason, that really stuck with me, so that is a phrase we use in our own house.
This is something that I desire for my own boys; it has nothing to do with size or shape of my sons, only to be courageous in facing difficultly, to be decisive, to be honorable, to be selflessly trust worthy to their peers. I use that phrase to describe them, to praise them when I see them behaving in a way that I want to reinforce. The other day I was so impressed with something Isaiah did (sadly don't even remember what it was) that I was praising him for it. After the hugging and backslapping was over, I felt a tug on my pants, I looked down to see Stu looking up at me earnestly. He said "am I a 'tout fella, too, daddy?" Yes, Stu, you are certainly on your way to "stout-fella-hood". I can't wait to unleash the arrows from my quiver on the world.

I thought a couple of pictures of them would be appropriate for time stamp...

I like this one for Stu, he's a blur most of the time, anyway. The only way you can get him to hold still for a picture is to get everyone to laugh at him, even if what he is doing isn't funny, he will maintain it until the laughter stops.
Here is Isaiah, number 3 kid, and number one Cracker-Boy, the sincere, Stout-fella child.

re-organizing my life...

Upon completion of afore mentioned shed, the next logical step (and winter indoor project) seems to be to drag all of my stuff from my basement that would be normally kept in a garage or a shed, and put it all into my shed, now that I have one. This seems to me a very overwhelming task; I have a lot of stuff in my basement, my garden shed, and just sort of stored at my shop at work. It is pretty intimidating to believe that I can actually get all of my tools in one place at one time in an organized manner.





The first step was to build a small room inside the shed and insulate it well enough that I could keep it just slightly above freezing for my paints, etc, that I don't want frozen. Here is a photo of that:

After that was complete, the next step was obviously to bring all the paint, and liquids, etc, up and shelve them into my little paint room; none of this was that big of a deal, just labor dragging buckets of liquids up from the basement, the perfect chore for my little cheerful minions -er, children.

What has been really overwhelming, though, is the re-organizing of all my tools! When I brought everything up and into the shed, and had everything spread out in order to "take stock" of what we had, Wifey and I recollected that when we were first married we had no outdoor storage, and no basement to put tools in, so we squirreled my stuff into a little space in our "Honeymoon Cottage" to put my tools into, and it took up maybe 4 square feet of floor space- total! It pretty much consisted of a tiny air compressor, a sawsall, and one finish nailer. Here is a photo of the beginnings of my new and improved highly organized tool life:

Now the thing that blows me away is the expense of disorganization. If I could refund at full price every tool that I have in duplicate (or more) I could have built a shed to keep them in. That may be something of a hyperbole, but you get the idea. I won't bore anybody with anything close to a detailed list of total inventory, but I will give you a quick rundown on some of the more ridiculous items:

• 7 caulking guns
• 6 chalk boxes
• 6 bottles of chalk (one is 1/2 gallon)
• 15 pairs of tin snips
• maybe 10 partial rolls of tape; duct, masking, electrical
• 4 multi-meters
• 5 framing squares
• 2 Sheetrock squares
• 8 putty knives
• 5 partial little propane torch bottles
• 8 utility knives
• 7 pipe wrenches, 4 of which are 16"
• dozens of tape measures
• hundreds of PVC fittings
• dozens of blue plastic electrical boxes
• hundreds of shotgun shells I didn't know that I had
• dozens of pliers
• dozens and dozens of screwdrivers, 20+ of which are still in the package
• 3 pneumatic finish nailers
• 3 angle grinders
• 6 or so partial cans of WD-40 or P-B Blaster
• 6 or so partial cans of starting fluid
• 4 partial cans of wasp spray
• 4 partial gallons of antifreeze
• new saw blades I didn't know that I had
• 7 cordless drills

Now, as embarrassing as all this is, I have to defend myself somewhat and say that some of this stuff isn't really my fault- I have a nasty habit of loaning things out to people and forgetting about it, and then when I need something, I cant find it, so what else am I to do? Buy another one of course; then when it shows back up, I have multiples! I have also learned that if I come up missing something, it often yields results if I go accuse my brother of never returning it, even if I have no recollection of loaning it to him. And I have on several occasions thought that I lost or got robbed of higher ticket items like the cordless drills, only to find them in strange places later, after purchasing another, of course. I also have a hard time passing up a good deal on a sale item.

Anyway, NEVER AGAIN! Now that I will (hopefully) soon have a place for everything, and everything in its place, I am going to be totally organized and will know instantly whether or not I still own a tool. I will be so much more productive and so much more wealthy, not buying all these repeat tools! I am embarking on a new era! I always tell the story about if I ask my Father in Law if he has a tool I wanted to borrow, his reply would be: "Sure, in my shop, second drawer down on the left, about halfway towards the back". If he asked me if I had something that he wanted to borrow, my response would be: "yes, I'm pretty sure I have 4 or 5 of them, and I don't have any idea where any of them are." Well anyway, I hope to do better than I have done, because after only 11 years of marriage, that means we will need about 3 more sheds by the time I am 70...

By the way, anybody need some screwdrivers?

Dan Vs. Nature Scoreboard

Dan: 0, Nature: 1






Dan: 1, Nature: 1

Dan: 2, Nature: 1

hallelujah!

I'm so cold-blooded, I can shoot my favorite dog without blinking if it needs done, but I thought this was so cool that I almost got choked up. I doubt that 1 out of 10 people there were trying to praise God, but I just thought it was so awesome that God was being praised and glorified, whether their audience wanted to hear it or not!

Maybe clicking this link will work better than the embedded video below.

on the merits of winter

An early Sunday morning several weeks ago we had our "first-frost" of this year (an event at my house) I took my boys outside, booted but shirtless; we stood warming in the sun in the midst of the cold and breathed out “smoke” and stood quietly and still while watching the sunlight steam frost off of green garden fencing and chicken shed roofs. I told my boys that the first "first-frost" I remember was on my birthday, and on a Sunday as well, and I recollect being so amazed at the brightness and stillness of the air, piercing my cheeks as I made quick, giant steps through the breaking grass to stay next to my daddy while checking on cattle before church. It seemed to me the most extravagant Birthday present from a most benevolent Creator that I could not have even imagined.


At the risk of being over-prosy or even waxing poetic, I would like to write a little about why I disagree with people who dislike Winter. I wonder if it is a privilege of our modern times to view Winter as merely an inconvenience to our daily and uninterrupted lives; where we must go from a climate controlled house to climate controlled car that was maybe 10 or 20 degrees cooler than we would prefer it, at first anyway, because our attached garage has no climate control. Then, on top of that, we must suffer through listening to the crunch of our climate controlled 4 wheel drive vehicles drive over the 1/2” snow that the road grader left on the streets. As if all of that wasn't enough, we have to suffer the indignity of being stuck in our climate controlled homes after 5:30, when it gets dark; thereby missing our golf games, so we happily plop in front of the glowing image box and watch whatever those more intelligent folks 1500 miles away decided last season that would be good and appropriate for us to see this winter.


Maybe I have it all wrong, maybe I am the one benefiting from our technology enabling me to enjoy winter. But the thing that I enjoy about it isn't the comfort or the discomfort (Wife claims that I am impervious to both) but that it is a whole different lifestyle. It is one that requires forethought, planning, preparation. This I enjoy; it is a challenge, Winter tests the mettle of which I am made, and it exhilarates me to rise to that challenge. Animals need special care in the winter. Double check tires on vehicles, got lots of tread left? What do I have to put in the back of my truck for weight, and how will I get it in there? We heat with 99% wood heat; in order to do it well, I have to plan for next winter this year. Often it is dark by the time I get home, if I don't spend my weekend productively, I bring firewood into the house in the dark. Also, I plan what projects I will do to keep me occupied in the long inside evenings.


It isn't that I am opposed to climate control in homes (I have AC) or am opposed to 4-wheel drive vehicles (I own 2) or that I hate golf (would love to learn), it is just that it seems a little petty (in our world without TB, Measles, Polio, where we have EASY access to antibiotics, and virtually unlimited clean hot and cold water at our fingertips) to complain about the cold when little more than 100 years ago, the majority of people were either hand cutting their own firewood or dragging coal through their house in order to keep just part of their homes warm. It wasn't just an inconvenience, it was an complete and utter lifestyle change; not that they enjoyed it any more than those today that dislike it, but at least they had a legitimate reason for disliking it.

But think of it- hasn't it been a long, long time since a country with a Mediterranean climate was truly a "world power"? Doesn't it seem that the northern countries (except for Canada, who we are hard pressed to think of at all) have historically proven their worth by their industriousness? I remember reading in my world geography book that so many tropical countries suffer from a term I think they referred to as "Sustenance Affluence Living"; where the climate was so good, that living was so easy with fresh fruit all year around, that there was not much need for work to stay alive, and so in these modern times, without much industry, their main source of financial income for the whole country is remittances from ex-pat emigres.

Not that most people care about what I like, but I love the initial relief that comes with October and November. It's as if I just can't absorb enough cold-ness into me even though I will get chilled, I still hunger for it after dry July, and moist August, when I can never truly dry off, then sneezy September. I love it when working hard and losing track of time, looking up into the steel-grey sky where there is no sign of sun, and realizing you have no way of telling by sun or by temperature whether it is morning or afternoon. It thrills my blood to feel the tension in the sky, heavy, low and near bursting with icy moisture and arctic air sent down, again, to test that mettle of which I am made. It is one of man's oldest adversaries, Man vs. Nature. Nature isn't our mother, benevolent and kind; it is a wild and powerful force and is to be reckoned with.

I enjoy counting 5 gallon containers of gas, figuring how long I could run the generator to sustain my house without any electricity like we did 2 years ago after the ice storm. I enjoy the opportunity to feel like a producer rather than just a consumer as I am told I am by the television and textbooks. I heartily enjoy literally bringing home the bacon, not just that I earned, but that I raised! I enjoy butchering chickens, raising food in my garden, more than enough for us; in a good year, more than my neighbors want; feed it to the pigs! Turn it into bacon! I enjoy directly providing heat for my home; I feel like I am winning when Wife is uncomfortably warm in our house and it is 5 degrees outside, never mind that I am miserably hot! These things that I was indirectly taught that men are to do: provide food and shelter for family, I enjoy doing them to excess. My wife gets frustrated at the volume of meat we accumulate sometimes, that is not a bad problem to have, as I see it. We've never throw it away yet! I enjoy the thought of driving on icy roads, of beating the snowplow on the way to town, or best of all, being stuck and stranded at home without power after all my best efforts to get out, stuck where I most like to be, with the people I most like to be with.

But anyway, all I'm trying to say to you winter haters, is this: It is a challenge, but an exhilarating one! Here's hoping this winter is a nasty one!

adventures of GutterMan

So I tried to email this photo unsuccessfully to several people yesterday from my phone, much to the confusion of many people. Anyway, the picture doesnt do it justice, we are 35 to 40 feet in the air and Dodge City Street Dept were good enough to shut down the street for us so that we could go up and over the power lines, which the power company was good enough to shut down for us as well. As hilly as Dodge City is, we were able to see the tops of grain elevators from this point

For those of you who know him, that is "Good-Man-Fearless-Driver-Downspout-Crasher" (native american name) Clifford Nininger in the basket, but that is another story...