meat canning disaster

Lest people think that I imagine my life as one endless string of wonderful  successes after another, I have a story to share about my Saturday morning.
You see, in my journey to becoming ready for the Zombie Apocalypse, or whatever catastrophe may befall us, I've decided that I need to resurrect the fine art and science of canning, specifically, canning meat.
I mentioned in my last post going to the Kingsley's place last week to get my little piggies.  Anna gave Herself a couple quarts of venison meat that she had canned.  That really got my juices going, and I decided that this is something that I should be interested in, because with raising 5-6 pigs, I could save a bunch of money if I butchered them myself, and that could be the answer to the problem of not having enough freezer space.  I could butcher a hog, smoke half or a quarter of it, make some premium roasts or steaks, and if I messed any cuts up, being the raw rookie that I am, I could make sausage out it or just can it!
So, buttressed with this flash of brilliance, I proceeded to research obsessively  about pressure cooker, canning meat, etc.  In doing this, I also realized that there is a WHOLE culture of people who also obsess about being prepared in the event of disaster, and they even have labels and names for it all.  Amazing what you can find on YouTube... Maybe some of you have heard of "Preppers"?  I guess it's a TV show; I had no idea, I've still not seen it.  And something else about shtf.  Whatever that is, some sub-culture thing I guess; anyway, it's not like I want to join a club earning merit badges or anything, I'm just interested in taking care of my own.
So, in a rare moment of forethought, I did decide to give it a trial run before I killed a pig and went "whole hog".

And this is what it looks like:













Cube the meat and stuff it in the jar; it's not Rocket Science or so I thought, anyway.  I won't go into a detailed explanation of how to do all this stuff since if you read it to the end, you will realize I'm no one to take canning advise from.
I borrowed my mom's pressure cooker and put the thawed roast that I had crammed into the jar into it, turned the heat on, let it get to boiling, plopped the weight on top and walked away.  I came back into the shed where I had it all set up and cooking to check on it several times.


















I could hear the steam releasing, just barely "chuckling" along; it sounded like this: "shhhhhhhhhh, chick, shhhhhhhhhh, chick, shhhhhhhhhh, chick, shhhhhhhhhh, chick..."  I told my self that I remembered my mom using it as a kid and it sounded faster, like there was more steam coming out, like this: "chick, chick, chick, chick..." So, I turned it up.  About 5 minutes later I'm standing there with my neighbor admiring my handiwork, when that old pressure cooker started talking: "BAMMMMMM!" because that pop off valve blew and steam blasted out of the little hole! It just kept coming and coming.  From the floor to the top of my shed is 22 feet, I'm sure that geyser would have blasted twice that height if it was outside. That's a good way to humidify a place in a hurry!  I hurried over and shut off the heat, but Wow! what an experience, I bet you never catch me bending over that crazy thing while its cooking...
Oh, well, back to the drawing board, I guess.
Oh, and as of right now, it seems that my Root Beer was a dismal failure as well, it seems (not done yet) that slight fermentation process (kind of a yogurty sort of fermentation) isn't going to happen, so it will be completely flat instead of naturally carbonated.  :(

Strike 2... 

Pigs, snow, garden, etc

We survived, and yes, even thrived through the record-breaking snow storm of  '13.  We lost power for a while, just long enough to feel like we wanted to hook up the generator that I had brought home in advance, just in case, but this made me realize that I need to figure out how to do that more efficiently.

Just for the record and for my own memory, we received 14" with one storm, over about 2 days, then another front moved through a day later and dumped another 6" on top of that, with little melting in between.  This was certainly more snow on the ground at once than I have ever seen.  Luckily, I had brought the Gehl tele-handler home from work and was able to strap on a reinforced piece or two of plywood and use it fairly well for a snow plow.  It really warmed my heart to see all us rural Americans busting out snowdrifts for ourselves and for our neighbors, with trucks, tractors, four wheelers, and forklifts. Most of us didn't have to get out, it wouldn't make any difference on a day like that, but I love seeing that independent American spirit of "I will get out, even if I don't have to get out."  

Somebody, some local farmer that I don't even know, just drove down the road with his big tractor and busted out the drifts in the driveways, and made a lap or two through everybody's driveway, just to pack it down so that people could at least have a chance at getting out.  He didn't attempt mine, probably because it's nearly a half mile long; he just broke through the entryway of the drive.  That's ok, we did just fine without it...

I also got a bunch more trees cut down out in the pasture; I may have mentioned how encouraged I am about it.  At this rate, I may have pasture before I am 90 years old! We burnt some colossal piles of brush, too.

Here are some pictures of our place that I took:

Above is a picture of a snow drift just outside of our driveway that is as high as my side mirrors of my pickup.  Glad I didn't have to bust through that one!

At that time we had no livestock at all, but now we are getting back into the swing of things.  We now have 30 chicks of a fryer/layer split, and 6 little piglets.

We went and got them from our friends the Kingsley's, who run the perfect little farm with nearly every imaginable farm animal on it. Sooo jealous! Sunday we got accidentally inspired and got the whole garden's old weeds pulled up (left from last years neglect because I built a shop loft instead) and then when I showed Brother in Law Jonathon my Roto-tiller, he was so taken with it, that he tilled the whole garden with it! Wednesday and Thursday, I planted Potatoes, radishes, onions, and beets.  No turnips, though; they couldn't be found anywhere in my town.  I looked at Westlake, Lowes, Walmart, and Home Depot!  I'm pretty sure it's a conspiracy; I'm just not real sure what the point is, though...

So we took advantage of some of the time we were "holed up" and made some German Sausage.  My two middle kids pictured here.  This I was able to pull off without barking at my kids or Wifey.  (See last post)

Finished product:

Root beer

So, I'm making Root Beer.  There's no way to say that and sound clever or cool; you just have to say it.  The only possible way to do it economically would be to go hunting, digging, and gathering for all the ingredients in the forests (which we are a little short of in south central KS) and dig up sassafras root, and 10 other ingredients that we don't have, with the exception of Dandelion Root, which I happen to have plenty of around here.  That would be very expensive in time, instead of very expensive in money buying all the different ingredients.

Lets just say, that if I would have "invested" the same money that I put into Root Beer ingredients into actual Root Beer; I would have never had to buy Root Beer again- EVER! Enough said about that, I'm not here trying to convince anyone of the merits of making it yourself; if anything, I'd try to steer people away from it.  Not to mention, I'm sure if you've grown up drinking commercially manufactured Root Beer, I doubt very much that it tastes anything like something made with real roots.

But the good news is it is really quite easy to make, after I spent literally 3 hours pursuing the internet scavenging the ingredients (Concentrates are cheap too!  But, noooo, not good enough for this dummy) to get everything I needed.  For my own reference, here is the recipe:

homemade root beer recipe

YIELD: 2 quarts 

PREP: 20 mins

COOK: 3 to 4 days (fermentation) 

READY IN: 23 mins 

Seasoned with sassafras, winter green, sarsaparilla and eight other herbs and spices, amassing the ingredients for this classic homemade root beer recipe can prove challenging. I recommend purchasing from Mountain Rose Herbs which stocks even the most obscure wild-crafted and organic herbs and spices. (note from Dan: not so much...)

Ingredients 1/4 cup sassafras root bark 

1/4 cup winter green leaf 

2 tablespoons sarsaparilla root 

1 tablespoon licorice root 

1 tablespoon ginger root 

1 tablespoon dandelion root 

1 tablespoon hops flowers 

1 tablespoon birch bark 

1 tablespoon wild cherry tree bark 

1 teaspoon juniper berries 

1 cinnamon stick 

1 cup unrefined cane sugar 

1/2 cup ginger bug or fresh whey or 1 packet kefir starter culture Instructions 

1.  Bring two and one-half quarts filtered water to a boil and stir in sassafras, sarsaparilla, wintergreen, licorice, ginger, hops, juniper, birch and wild cherry bark. 

2.  Reduce the heat to a slow simmer and simmer the roots, berries, barks, leaves and flowers for twenty minutes. 

3.  After twenty minutes, turn off the heat and strain the infusion through a fine-mesh sieve or a colander lined with cheesecloth into a pitcher. Stir unrefined cane sugar into the hot infusion until it dissolves and allow it to cool until it reaches blood temperature. 

4.  Once the sweetened infusion has cooled to blood temperature, stir in the ginger bug or fresh whey and pour into individual bottles (preferably flip-top bottles which are easy enough to find online) leaving at least one inch head space in each bottle.

 5.  Allow the root beer to ferment for three to four days at room temperature, then transfer to the refrigerator for an additional two days to age. 

6.  When you’re ready to serve the root beer, be careful as it, like any other fermented beverage, is under pressure due to the accumulation of carbon-dioxide, a byproduct of fermentation. Open it over a sink and note that homemade sodas, like this one, have been known to explode under pressure. Serve over ice.

I got this recipe from Nourished Kitchen, LLC.  

There are much less complicated recipes out there, though.  But, I didn't want to pick my recipe just because it was "easy" (a "four-lettered word" in my childhood home) so I picked the hardest, instead.  It really was simple to make; it fills the house with a very heady "Rootish" smell.  If you know what fresh ginger and fresh sassafras smell like, imagine it brewing in your kitchen for most of the evening.  Pretty fun!

The tough thing is that most of the reason (excuse?) I do this sort of thing is that "it is for the kids."  To have something fun to do with my kids.  The problem is; however, that this totally didn't happen last night.  The interest level of making Root Beer doesn't hold a candle to the level of fascination that, say, watching their uncle obsessively play "Temple Run" on the iPad does.  On top of that, if they happen to follow their little noses into the kitchen, they get barked at because I'm already irritated because I'm having to elbow Wifey out of the way because she has the nerve to be attempting to prepare my all time favorite meal for me while I am making Root Beer.  (before, during, and after supper.)

Now that I think about it; Jeez, what a jerk.  Sometimes I really impress myself with what a selfish jerk I am.  Blogging about it this morning makes me rethink my experience, and makes me realize it was probably a super crappy experience for everyone but me.  I guess I might spend a good share of the rest of my life bitter and alone after everyone leaves me, but at least I'll know how to make real Root Beer! In the future, I'll maybe try a little more intentionally to include the kids, and not do it on top of Herself making me supper.  Especially if she's making me Curry!!