And so I did. At first, it was cute. If I was kneeling down, working on a piece of equipment, like a grain cart (something she is fond of), she was right there behind me, and I mean RIGHT there, with her huge white and black melon right next to mine, and I mean RIGHT next to mine, breathing heavily into my ear, whilst she endeavored to figure out what I was doing. As I said, I thought it was cute that she was interested in what I was doing. I never thought about it much but it did seem that I was going through feed faster than usual. So I started paying attention from the house. Sure enough, there she was, working the lever with with her nose, spilling feed out all over the ground and gorging herself on it... Uh, oh: I bought a 'Stein...
She has other tricks, as well; she apparently has some incredible bladder and bowel control; she seemingly can wait all day until you're ready to milk her before she cuts loose with both, just to let you know how she feels about you messing around with her "momma parts" back there. But the real kicker was the other day after recently bringing them both home after spending the summer on pasture waiting to calve; it's my habit to just look for them as I go in and out of the house and reassure myself that they aren't getting into any mischief. If I don't see them, I don't worry, but in the back of my head, I make a mental note and make sure that I can see them next time. Well, I hadn't seen them all afternoon long, and was just a little worried about what they were up to, but I was too busy breaking plumbing parts in the basement, alternating from spraying water everywhere out of a 3/4" pipe, and making trips to the hardware store, so I didn't take the time to actually go check on them.
So, on the return home from the FOURTH trip to the hardware store, I noticed a decidedly "frosty" attitude in the kids as I saw them stomping around, carrying brooms, shovels and scoops. "Uh oh!, says I, maybe I better clear out, let whatever happened settle down a little." So, a little while after busily breaking plumbing parts and fixing them over and over again got boring, I went out and looked at what was going on. So apparently, my 'Stein figured out how to work the latch on the barn door and managed to not only get in, but allow her progeny to come in, AND shut the door behind them so that it didn't become obvious that something was awry at the Thistle and Lily farm/ranch.
You might ask yourself, what is the big deal? Animals in the barn? Isn't that what a barn is for? Well, yeah, technically that is true, but here at the Thistle and Lily, our barn is a milking barn, which means to us, we at least try to keep it clean to cut down on the amount of flies. But having 2 huge 'Steins in it ALL DAY LONG GORGING THEMSELVES ON GRAIN does not lend itself to a clean barn at all. Luckily for me, I didn't even have to hardly lift a finger. The kids were all out in the barn when I got there, spraying it down, but decidedly "huffy," and mumbling farmy/homeschooley swear words under their breath: "dad-gum, dirty, stupid polka-dot fatso Holstein, she musta not poo-ed for a week, saving that up... Why can't we have a nice little Jersey, instead of a big lardo-butt like Blubberbutt (her name whenever she's done something bad...)"
But anyway, the point is this; No, I do not have a cow. Yes, I have a 'Stein. Again, she is not a cow; I don't know what she is, maybe a 1600 pound lapdog, is my best guess. But what I do have, is some pretty darn good kids that help out. Very nice!
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