Some of you have commented that I've been posting less frequently lately and wondered what i've been up to. I have been pretty busy with the usual stuff, but I will show you with some pictures below of my project I was able to work on with the long weekend. I utilized my extra time this weekend to plumb in my pipe system that I had installed in the concrete basement floor when we built the house, using a boiler system to heat the water pumping throught the pipes in the basement floor.
To do this, I just use the wood/coal burning furnace that I already use (to heat the house) to heat the "boiler" water, so I am not using any extra energy to heat the basement floor, just the extra electricity required to run the pump. If you look closely, I have labeled some things in the pictures. All I need now is a pump that works regularly.

american children

After the trip home from church wed. night; all four of my kids (ages 7 to 1) were either asleep or pretending to be asleep and trying not to smile while faking it. In one of my rare moments of compassion and consideration for my children I decided that i would just go ahead and carry them in whether they were really asleep or not. As I made the fourth trip out to the van after the last child, I had kind of a flashback moment to a similar experience of being carried by my parents my own youth.

I remember the drowsy, delicious feeling of having no real responsibility, even for my very self; that I could just continue to "slump" and that someone would put me where I belonged and I could trust that those in charge would take care of me. Then I realized that the same feeling must of washed over more than half of Americans earlier that same day when they opened their newspapers. Think about it... Subtle, huh?

investors wanted!

So I think I've hit on a hot new money making idea, but I will need a few investors. I need a producer, directer, and a camera crew, a lighting crew (etc) to follow me and "the boys" around while we gutter people's houses. I plan on calling this prime time network television show: "Gutters of the Rich and Famous". This idea was spawned while guttering Ted Turner's personal resort and ranch-house/hunting lodge this morning, after a 3 1/2 hour drive from my shop. I think that after this idea catches on, celebs everywhere will be clamouring to have me gutter their homes. I can see it all now; first Ted, then maybe Oprah, then probably Bill Gates, after that I'm sure Paris Hilton will want on board, then the snowball effect will take place and we will just have to open a branch in Hollywood. I'm also taking applications for strong silent "Lead Men" to hang gutter. I'm thinking George Clooney. Let me know if you have any better ideas.

An important emergency health care option

I just hope that whoever is our next president will bring us up to these rigorous UK health care standards.

just another weekend...

So on mondays, (especially after the gunpower/eyebrow event) the guys at work always ask: "did you have an interesting weekend?" Tomorrow, I will answer; "Not really, just like everybody else's weekend, probably did the same thing everybody did: went to church, watched the kids bury a live chicken,



then a cat; then I dragged up some coal from out back and fired up the old forge

and smelted down some aluminium, (for casting purposes) just like millions of other people most likely did all over the country. Today, I am going to try something different than most, though. Sean and I are going to try to melt copper, which requires an additional 420 degrees Fahrenheit... wish us luck!

Beauty-marks?

A small announcement about a new “look” that I have been sporting this week. Many of you will be used to my old “look”; the rough and rugged “Construction Dan.” No more, though... Many of you may have heard of the “Metro-sexual”, men who are heterosexual, but care greatly about their appearances, and are very interested in the grooming of one’s self. I took a few radical steps in that direction this last weekend. Allow me to describe the new me:

I got a new hairdo, one that is considerably shorter in front. I also had the eyebrows “sculpted” and even my eyelashes, and yes, also my beard. I had a facial treatment done, from my collar up, to darken my appearance. Directly after my treatment, my eyeglasses were “smoked” so dark that I could barely see through them. And yes, I am sure that you all are asking yourselves if I treated myself to that ultimate luxury of self-pampering; the manicure. Of course, I did; I got the very latest in manicure fashion, one that makes your fingernails appear whitish-yellow without actually applying fingernail polish, and has the added benefit of making your first three fingers and thumb red and look like bratwurst over the grill about to pop. And to crown the new me, I topped it off with a favorite scent: the Odour de la Singed Hair.

You might be asking your self “how can a busy guy like Dan, business owner, husband, father of four, active church member, maintainer of 20 acre Farmlet manage to still find the time to pamper himself?” Easy! Let me introduce my new self care beauty treatment product: “Flash Make-Over”. It’s perfect for every busy person looking for a quick spruce-up. Included in every kit comes 2 small kegs of gunpowder to pour out and light on your driveway, one slow burning to give you confidence, and then one that Flashes instantly when lit, turning your complexion into a lovely charcoal-gray tone, and trims your hair, including beard, mustache, nose, head, and ear hair! Tired of meticulous hair trimming? Let “Flash Make-Over” do it! It takes less than a second! Also has been known to produce charming pit-marks in your glasses to add individual personality to your new look! Don’t forget that with this purchase comes the instant mani-cure, (one hand only) that turns your fingers into delicious looking bratwursts! Guaranteed that pus wont start oozing from blisters for at least 48 hours. Where else can you find all this beauty treatment in low priced kit?!

Remember, result may vary and past performance is no indicator of future results.

2 16 oz. kegs of gunpowder: $19.95
1 Lighter : $ .79
Medicated burn ointment: $4.98
Having your new employees mock you because your "sausage fingers" won't let you squeeze together a set of 'snips at work?: Priceless!

Ditch drivers

So I've been catching flack from friends and family about the "used car salesman" posting lately. Apparently, some people are upset about me not describing how I tore the guy's head off and spit down the hole. I am unsure if I should apologize for that or not, but I personally took it as growth on my own part that I didn't unload on him, but point taken; it doesn't make a very good blog posting. Ironic, though, one friend just came up to me and named the place of business without even asking, he knew very well how they do business.

So anyway, today I decided to put the old '49 International truck back into storage, which is a bit of an ordeal, when you have to start out by jumping it, then driving it 30 miles to Abbyville with out even so much as sniff of any kind of brakes, in the rain; without windshield wipers. As I was driving there and my wife following me, I was thinking how some people would frown at me for putting my children at risk by having them in such a vehicle with me, but I thought of my own childhood and realized how much safer my kids were riding in this truck rather some of the trucks we rode around in. My truck may not have brakes or windshield wipers but it did have the advantage of other luxuries, like say; a clutch, and even frivolous accessories such as doors: they even latch! I am not exaggerating when I say that the truck I learned how to drive in was a wheat truck, and I was five years old. The training course was short and the instructor was brief. My dad put it in gear, opened the door, and said: "just drive it around the field in circles while I kick the hay out the back", and jumped out. It wasn't very long later that I suddenly realized that he must have been talking to me, as there wasn't anyone else in the truck anymore, and that if I didn’t move over and start steering, I would end up going through a fence, so I did. That didn't stop me from still going through a fence later, though, but he wasn't even too upset about the truck getting all scratched up. Now that I am a father, I can see the value in having higher expectations than what is typically thought OK. If you tell a child that "you probably won't be able to do this, but try anyway" they most likely won't be able to.

So, anyway we get to Abbyville in one piece and decide to surprise my mom with a family of six for lunch and see if she will rise to the occasion of feeding us out of the blue; she of course does. Our lunch is cut short by a phone call from a hunter from Wichita that frequents all the ditches in the neighborhood, saying that once again, he was stuck. Mom informs me that she or dad has pulled him out no less than at least 10 times before, and that he called last night from Wichita to ask how the roads were. Dad had informed him that they were really bad, and under NO circumstances should he go down this certain one, that he WOULD get stuck if he did. Guess where he was calling from? You got it... the one stretch of road that he was warned away from. I had to ask; what point is there in calling about the condition of the roads if you don't heed any warnings? He must just love the ditches, I guess. But what advantage do the ditches around here have over the ones in Wichita? They had more rain than we did even; why drive 60 miles to get stuck when you can do it in your own back yard? I've known for a long time the fascination that Wichita citizens have with ditches, anytime that there is any little bit of ice on the roads, you'll notice that nearly every one apparently decides that they would rather drive in the ditch. I'm not real sure of the logic behind this, but apparently it works for them.

So I grabbed a couple of nephews and jumped into the 1086 tractor and went to pull him out. After backing up to his pickup, he tied a little sissy knot in the rope attached to it and after I stared at it dubiously for a while, then at him, then at the knot again, I decided to give it a try. It of course just slipped out instantly. My nephews said in harmony, "he should have tied a bow-line". To his credit, he was very ashamed of his horrible attempt at a knot and I really wondered how anyone could make it to manhood without learning one real knot. I wish now that I would have just told one of the nephews to go show the city-slicker how to tie a decent knot, but didn't. We got him out easily enough, and I am very sorry to say to the more morbid of you all that enjoy hearing about me yelling at people that there was none of that. But I did think about how to prevent further episodes such as this. Since he did at least show some shame, I think the best way of treating him is if this ever happens again, I would just say; "Grace, go down and pull that grown man out of the ditch". After all, she IS seven... But I suppose that part of the novelty of driving in ditches is the stories you get to tell when you finally make it back into the City, (“I got soooo stuck yesterday!!!”) so getting pulled out by a seven year old girl rustic would only draw a whole flood of ditch-drivers from Wichita.